Runes
by fariesteed
Summary: Builds on what we know about Eric and his turning from D&G.


A/N: These character's belong to Charlaine Harris. What would we do without her?

Many thanks again to VampLover1 for being a great beta!

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I pulled a rune from the leather sack near the door before I left the house. It was a habit I had picked up from my father-- take the rune the Gods put into your hand and look for insight into what the Gods had planned for me. My pick this time was Algiz, reversed: a warning against being taken advantage of. I had to smile. No one would _ever_ try to take advantage of me and expect to win. It was a fact. I had never been bested in battle, not even in practice for many years. I knew how to hold the upper hand in any negotiation-- how to make someone accept my decision.

The boys were off with my younger brother's boys, a noisy fair- haired group in mock battle with wooden sword-sticks between houses. My daughter was asleep, watched carefully by a nursemaid. Aude and the baby had been dead and buried for four weeks now. The children could not live under just the care of slaves and a servant; family was important. They needed a mother's care. Hopefully after tonight's meeting, they would have a mother again. I was going to negotiate with another family and meet a girl that had been offered to my Father as a possible match for me. The girl's father would be glad for a good alliance between their families; there was no possibility of them taking advantage. I put the rune back in its bag and went out the door.

***

We know how to mourn our dead. How do we mourn for the missing?

Erik never came home. His mother and I understood when Bergr, our oldest living son, fell in battle, chosen by the Valkyrie. It was an honor to be found among the best. When old Orri came in the morning to accept last night's offer of marriage for his daughter, we walked together to Erik's house, talking about how this marriage would strengthen the alliances between both our families. But Erik had vanished. He had not returned last night, his house servant told us. Of course, she thought nothing of it. If the meeting had gone late and been accompanied by enough alcohol to lubricate the negotiations, it was entirely possible that Erik had simply slept stretched out next to their fire. But he had not stayed and he never returned. His brothers went out and searched the road for any signs of him. About halfway between our village and Orri's, they found a large bloodstain and signs of a struggle. Was there a fight? An animal? We had not seen wolves so close during this season for several years, but what else could have been there? The surrounding forest held no answers.

Two long days passed with no sign. I knew that Erik would never willingly leave his children or us, his family. Something unthinkable had happened. I thought hard, and pulled three runes from the bag for Erik's past, present and future.

Past: Ansuz, a victim of treachery, deceit. Who could have deceived him? Surely not Orri or his family. They had everything to gain by marriage to our clan.

Present: Wird, the blank rune, the symbol of death. Symbolic death or death in truth?

Future: Eiwaz, the evergreen, strong and resilient, never dying. What were the Gods trying to tell me?

***

A week after I had bled my life out into Appius and received his blood in return, he forced me to take one last look at my home and family. I could not understand myself anymore, I did not know what I had become. In the four days since I had woken as a new sort of monster, I had killed two people, two humans. I hadn't meant for them to die, but the hunger was uncontrollable. Appius, on the other hand, found me completely controllable. The humans had been from different villages, perhaps 10 miles apart. It would take time for the news of the deaths to travel once the bodies were discovered, and Appius had shown me how to hide the bodies well. I didn't want to return home, to see my children left without parents, my mother and father mourning the loss of another son, but Appius insisted. The old me might have taken it as kindness, to see that the children were cared for, that my mother had not been overcome by grief. The new me knew it was cruelty, to show me what I had lost and could never have again. Appius said I would not harm anyone at home, and he had such complete power over my thoughts and actions that I believed him with absolute certainty.

All were asleep in the dark when we came, and our movements were silent. I could feel my children at my brother's house, my younger brother, now the oldest son. There was a tie between us, my parents and siblings and children, which I had never felt before. I knew that time would break it, I would be lost to memory, and never even be a memory for my daughter-- she was too young. I could imagine the sight of my sons sleeping. I wanted so badly to touch them one last time, bid them to be brave and obedient, to grow up like the warriors I knew they would be. Even if I had trusted myself around more humans, I could not enter my brother's house. A wall I could not see kept me out. I went into my house, Appius forcing me from a distance, and I took in the scents of my family one last time. The hearth was a cold, black hole that echoed the cold, black hole where my soul had been. I had lost everything.

I turned to leave and again my hand reached into the bag of runes. Thurisaz: the warning against evil, betrayals, danger. A bit late for that. I took my bag of runes, stuck them in the waist of my pants without Appius noticing, and walked out of my old life.

....

TBC...


End file.
